Hey.
Today i'm a little happier.
Yeah maybe because i cried too much ytd.
My eye now swollen , very annoying.
Damn my life , or maybe it's just me .
Damn the thoughts going through my mind.
Those suicidal thoughts are freaking me out.
I feel as if i'm having depression , very serious case.
Only Amber and Him and cheer me up.
Hey don't look at me like this.
I don't know why amber can cheer me up.
At least her video cheers me up.
Yeah Amber from f(x) , i'm in love with her.
Yeah right i am turning lesbian.
I don't really care cause i have no time for that.
Whatever , i disappoint everyone , sorry.
I disappoint my parents , for having high hopes on me.
I disappoint my friend , for pretending to be someone else.
I disappoint everyone , for thinking about suiciding.
I've been thinking , what if slitting my wrist helps ?
I don't mind doing it , since it helps me live my life.
Makes me happier , why not ? No harm.
I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
For everyone out there , thanks for giving me chances.
Thanks for being so good to me , and everything,
Sorry i'm such failure , for thinking about dying.
It's just , sometimes , i can't help but think how sucky my life is.
I have a cold heart , can't have a love live , doesn't dare to confess to him.
I couldn't be myself , i hate myself , nobody loves me.

When your life is like this.
You can have no way out.
I want to spend all my time with him.
Even if i don't meet him in real.
Or couldn't see him forever.
At least we have some memories.
Please remember me if i die.
I love you.
Sorry for disappointing.
And everything.