Have you ever felt like living is kind of meaningless for you now?
That's what i have been feeling recently.
Always feeling like i am by myself, with nobody to rely on.
Then i wonder, if i was dead, who would cry at my funeral?
But honestly, i wouldn't want to die.
But yet i feel like i am dead already.
Living isn't supposed to be a chore, but recently it felt like one.
I don't know who else can i trust, since i know one day they would leave me one by one.
Is it worth it to trust them? (I really doubt so..)

Things are getting much more stressful, and tiring for me to handle.
Honestly, i wished i wouldn't have to feel stress.
But yet, at the same time i know i would have to.
Because if i didn't work hard enough, i would regret it.
I don't want to regret anymore, it made me felt the worse.



I have gotten so used to bottling up my emotions, that it have become a habit.
Truthfully, i wished i didn't have to but i don't want to affect anyone beside me.
It isn't worth anything to make others feel depress because of me.
After the previous experience, all i could really feel like numb.
Numbness, numbing pain like it has been there for quite awhile.
It's hard to accept the truth, but i don't want to convince myself to believe otherwise.
I don't want to hurt anyone again,

I apologize to people around me, for not be able to hand over my trust to you.
I know people care, but it's just hard for me to do this.
I would rather be alone, being a burden is worse than anything else in the world.

Loneliness made me feel so desperate.
I want to love again, but i know how bad it will turn out.
Should i or should i not?