There's so much happening these days..
I am feeling so emotional and troubled now.
I really don't know how to get rid of all these feelings inside me.


I hate how people get into my heart and mess me up in such a short time.
I hate how they toy with my feelings by acting to please me.
I hate how they leave without explaining and act all different.
I hate how it always repeat and end up all in the same way.
I hate myself for being like this.

With all these feelings bottled inside me, I'm waiting to explode soon.
I don't know how to express all these confusion, emptiness, betrayal, sadness and anger within me.
I am building these walls back up again, after being toyed like this.
I can't handle anymore tricks from any of you.
Fuck you for all theses misleading behaviors. 
Fuck you for making me think I should give it a try.

There's no words to describe all these negative feelings I am bottling up.
I don't know who to confide in, because I know they wouldn't understand.
It's so hard for me to recover from that,
Why do you have to break me down again?
I hope you're pleased to see me breaking down. (It must have been entertaining..)
I hope you're happy to see my heart close up again.
I hope you're glad that I am crying alone during those sleepless night.

I.. I wished i tried harder to pay more attention to him.
Now he is in a dangerous position, I can't help but see my grandfather in him.
The same way he passed on, without me knowing how he is like.
All i know how he is like is from my own parents.
He must have had been a wonderful and considerate man.
I never see him talk much, maybe because i wasn't there much.
I regret saying I don't want to see the whole family during CNY.
I was such a immature kid, such a stupid brat.
I'm sorry.
I wish i could do something more than praying for you.
Please be alright.